The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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