So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
