So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
