I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
