its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
