Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
