you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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