1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
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Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
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You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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