Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You are the jesus of drinking
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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