3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
