Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
