Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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