I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
