I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
