i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just invented taco cereal.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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