my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
