So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
