y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
