Someone shit on the floor
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize