i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
