Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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