You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
