Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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