with your own penis?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
