he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
