I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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