Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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