How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
