You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
