I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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