You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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