Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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