We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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