my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
