My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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