You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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