I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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