She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
3 2 1 whiskey
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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