Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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