We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Too much gin, very little bucket
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
