lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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