My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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