i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
