so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
