Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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