Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
