My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
