Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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