I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
