I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
