My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
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She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize