toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
farters have to be the big spoon...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
