then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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