are you still at the devil's house?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
