I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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