Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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