Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
