just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize