just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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