this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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