I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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