How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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