I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Drunk is not a location!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize