maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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