i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
