can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
